Super Smash Bros III
by poji73
Summary: A new tournament means new participants...and prizes. But an evil group is lurking in the shadows, waiting to destroy it all! Can the Smashers stop these resentful ruffians and bring home the prize?
1. Prologue

Well, here's the prologue. This is only my first fan-fic, so take it easy, critics!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing related to Super Smash Bros.

With that said, let us begin!

* * *

_26 great warriors. One victory. Such was the case in the greatest tournament of all time, one that would grow to be legendary among all the worlds._

_The great mansion towered above all else. Within it, twenty-five of the greatest heroes and villains dueled in various battles, each striving to be the best._

_The great Master Hand, a powerful, just leader, oversaw and commanded these battles of epic proportions, making sure they stayed in control. Yet sometimes, even with the intervention of Master Hand, things didn't turn out smoothly…_

The entire mansion was abuzz with excitement. Anticipation filled the air. Even the betting box, previously off-limits, was opened by Master Hand – reluctantly, of course.

Today was the day of the greatest anticipated match of the tournament. Two powerful titans, arch-rivals, would be battling in a trick-free duel today. This battle would take place between Mario and Bowser!

Mario, a plumber, would live a simple life of plumbing and never would get invited to tournaments like these without Bowser to kick him into shape. Bowser, on the other hand, lived a life of trying to rule the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario's homeland. Without Mario to stop him, he would live a lazy and luxurious life. That way, the two depended on one another, making this match all the more exciting.

At 2:00, the air was still with suspense. People were eagerly waiting for the match in only a few minutes. Mario walked through the hall toward the cafeteria proudly, earning him praise. Luigi, a taller plumber dressed in green, who just happened to be Mario's younger brother, stepped up and walked to the battler. "Good luck," he said softly. Mario smiled. "Thanks, bro." They turned around in response to a growl to see Bowser stomping in.

His face was a scowl, his teeth were bared, his claws were outstretched, and each step was like thunder as he made his way in. As he spotted his opponent, a devilish grin lit up his scaly face.

"Mario," he snarled, snapping his arms back. He chuckled hoarsely, apparently pleased. "You do know that there is no chance of you winning today, right? You might as well surrender," he bragged.

Mario stepped forward. His face kept its usual good humor, but at the same time, he seemed to radiate confidence and valor. "What's the matter, Bowser? Afraid to fight me?" Bowser tensed, not expecting this.

"Oh, you'll see how _afraid_ I am when you see me in the winner's circle!" Mario laughed softly. "You'll be there to congratulate me, right?" Most of the spectators were amused. Bowser wasn't.

He tightened his claws into fists and was about to attack Mario when Master Hand interrupted their 'battle'. "Mario and Bowser, report to the teleporters. Repeat, Mario and Bowser, report to the teleporters." Bowser grinned, thoughts of victory clouding his mind. "I'll see you in the ring, _plumber_." Mario snorted, unimpressed. They turned and walked back through their respective hallways.

A heavy silence filled the café, followed by murmuring and shoving, everyone trying to get to the movie room first.

* * *

The arch-rivals reached the teleporter room at about the same time. This small room consisted of two glowing areas on the ground, large enough to stand on. There was also a microphone and a small screen portraying matches, for Master Hand liked to do his commentary here. There wasn't much else, no comfort.

True enough, the giant white floating hand was waiting for them. "Mario and Bowser. The teleporters have been set up. Step on them and head to Hyrule Temple, your arena." Bowser stomped over, and Mario stepped lightly.

They both felt the strange sensation of spinning all the way to the ruined temple of Hyrule, in but a few moments.

They were brought down on small trophy platforms. Mario on the left, Bowser on the right. Bowser twisted his face into a leer. Mario kept his calm exterior that made him the most famous Smasher. They were ready.

Meanwhile, the remaining 24 Smashers fought for seats in a seemingly normal movie theater room. The movie, though, was anything but normal. It portrayed Mario and Bowser, down to the finest detail, waiting for the referee to begin the battle.

Master Hand's voice echoed throughout the movie room, Hyrule Temple, and the teleporter room. "Smash System ready?" he called out. He flicked a switch and power reading appeared onscreen. "Set!" he answered himself. "Items ready?" He pressed another button and invisible items strewn across the stage lit up on his screen. "Set! Fighters set?" Mario and Bowser nodded, not taking their eyes off one another. "Ready!" Tension filled the air. One word and the battle would begin. "Melee!"

Bowser leaped up onto a platform jutting from the ground, then to the platform that Mario stood on. Upon landing, he dashed at Mario, who jumped, avoiding the assault. The mustachioed hero landed on his enemy's head and started bouncing on it, to the amusement of the spectators. He finally landed behind the king of Koopas. Not giving time to recover, Mario grabbed Bowser's tail, spun around, and threw him into the left wall of the platform attached to the ground.

The plumber ran off the ledge and leaped at Bowser, fist outstretched. But Bowser was quicker. He grabbed Mario's fist and hurled his surprised rival into the wall on the left. The Koopa leaped up and charged with the horns on his head. However, something unseen by both of the fighters in the ring, but noticed by everyone else, happened. A small chip attached to the ceiling of the stage fell and shattered.

Everyone panicked. The children freaked out. The adults forced their way out of the room and raced for the teleporter pad. Master Hand's reaction was less dramatic. "Oh, god no," he muttered as the numbers disappeared from his screen. Bowser, oblivious to the hype, stabbed his horns into Mario's chest. Blood poured from Mario's new wound.

Master Hand took control. "The Smash System is offline! Bowser, stop the attack!" Bowser did no such thing, repeatedly slashing Mario with his claws. "Wireframes! Goddamnit, go stop him!" About 20 Purple Wireframes materialized on the spot. They pulled at Bowser, but he easily shook them off by going into his shell and spinning. They flew off the stage.

At this point, Mario did something rather spectacular, considering he was suffering from an untreated mortal injury. He jumped up and kicked  
Bowser in the head with all the strength he could muster. If Mario wasn't injured, it certainly would've been enough to break the Koopa's skull, but under these circumstances, it was just enough to propel Bowser off the stage.

Master Hand regained control. "Finish!" he shouted into his mike. Both Mario and Bowser were teleported back to the teleporter room. "Wireframe!" A Wireframe appeared in the room. Master Hand pointed his index finger at Mario. "Take this one to Dr. Mario." The Wireframe picked up the unconscious plumber and hurried off. He turned to Bowser. "As for you, if it wasn't for Mario's skill, he'd be dead now!" Bowser looked relatively unconcerned. "So?" "My orders were very clear. Henceforth, your punishment will be disqualification."

* * *

Well, what do you think? This sort of sets the mood for the rest of the story. A lot of problems emerge because of this battle. So, R&R, and be honest. 


	2. The Invitations

Chapter 2 has arrived!

tikitikirevenge, the Smash System will be described in this chapter,

Knux Rox, in this story, the Smashers fight by choice for honor and rewards.

Now, here we go!

* * *

Luigi sat glumly on a luxurious sofa in his brother's house. For what seemed like the hundredth time, he thought about how Mario got these riches, when he could barely afford a run-down shack previously owned by a smelly Goomba. 

"_Well," _he silently reminded himself, _"he earned these riches by saving Peach. But wait!"_ He stopped himself abruptly.

"_I've helped out Mario, and got nothing. What about when I saved him from that haunted mansion! And what about that Bean-Bean place? Mario never shares the glory with me!" _

Luigi's indignant thoughts were interrupted by Mario's fancy doorbell chime. It went something like _"ding, ding, dong, dong, ding, dong, dingggg"_. Anyway, it was more than Luigi could afford, not helping his mood. "I'll get it!" Luigi ran to the door and opened it, fighting the urge to wrench it from the doorway and smash it underneath his feet. A Koopa Paratroopa was hovering in a mailman's costume. "Ello, Weegie!" the Mail Troopa greeted. "Got a letter for you an' Mario!"

He fumbled around with his mailbag for a while before pulling out the letter. The envelope was bright red with gold linings. "Looks fancy, eh, Weegie? Ere ya go!" He handed the note to Luigi.

"_Hmm. I wonder who it's from." _Curious, the plumber turned the envelope around to see the addresser. He gasped upon seeing the name, forgetting his differences with his brother in a heartbeat.

He kicked the door back open and scurried into the house. "Mario! Mario!" he shouted gleefully. The red plumber rushed down the tall, winding stairs, confusion written on his face.

Mario had bits of spaghetti and pasta sauce spattered across his mustache, giving a bit of a clue as to what he was doing upstairs. "Luigi! I – is something wrong?" Luigi's cheerful expression gave the answer. "No," he answered as though it was the silliest thing Mario could've said. "We got mail!"

Mario's jaw practically dropped to the floor. "Mail? You made me leave my spag…I mean very important errand for mail?" Luigi raised his eyebrows, not impressed with Mario's "errand". Regardless, he plowed on. "Not just any mail, Mario. It's from Master Hand at the Core!" Mario nearly fell over. "No. Way. The last tournament was only one year ago!"

"Yeah, and I bet they're having another one!" Mario quickly straightened himself. "Luigi, we don't know. It could just be a reception for former Smashers, or he could just be saying hi." Luigi shook his head. "Mario, Master Hand's too busy at the Core to send us a letter saying "hi", and he's not a reception kind of guy."

Mario considered this for a moment. "Yeah. Maybe you're right. Anyway, we'll never know unless you read the letter." "Oh, yeah, right." With one quick motion, he tore the envelope in two. A small metal piece with a glowing center fell to the ground. Luigi looked at Mario confusedly, who returned an identical look. "Why would Master Hand send us this?" Luigi asked. "It might be a prank letter from a Smasher." Mario didn't have much of an idea, either.

All of a sudden, Master Hand flew out of the device. _"Greetings, Mario and Luigi Mario," _his voice boomed. Luigi began talking quickly. "Master Hand? What are you doing here?" It took no notice of him. "Luigi," Mario said slowly, as though realizing an obvious truth, "that's a hologram, remember? They had those in the mansion." "Oh, right." The hologram of Master Hand continued to speak.

"_As participants of the previous Super Smash Brothers tournaments, I would like to cordially invite you to the 3rd annual Super Smash Brothers tournament, hosted by me, Master Hand. Transportation will be arranged in 5 days, accompanied by another note specifying where to go. Note that the tournament itself will only start after 10 days in the mansion, so pack accordingly. Also note that a 5th special move must be created for all the Smashers. Food will be arranged. Hope to see you then._

_Also, Mario, due to our little mishap with the Smash System last tournament, I will not be surprised if you are unable to come. The Super Smash Foundation sincerely hopes that you will be able to, though."_

The large hologram faded out, leaving the Super Mario Bros. bewildered. Luigi, the more emotional of the two, took several seconds to grasp the full extent of what was just played before him, followed by semi-absolute giddiness. The ecstatic plumber did cartwheels, he bounced off walls, almost anything that his powerfully athletic body would allow.

Mario stared at his brother in a gloomy fashion. Although the Super Smash Brothers tournaments were some of the greatest things to ever happen to him, they included one of the worst. After standing in one spot, tilting his eyes to match Luigi's progress, he quickly shook his head, bringing him back to reality.

"Luigi," he said reprovingly. "Quit making a fool of yourself, we've got to go." Luigi halted in a very awkward position; his foot on the wall, about to bounce off. Obviously, he fell. Mario sighed, remembering the Roadrunner cartoons he used to watch. "Typical."

"Where to?" Luigi asked in a muffled voice, his face planted in the ground, or as much as your face can get planted in carpets. "To the castle. Let's check up on Peach, see if she got the letter." Luigi would have uttered a snide remark, was he standing upright. As it was, the most he felt like doing was muttering "Sure," a bit dejectedly.

* * *

About half a mile from Mario's house, and ¾ of one from Luigi's, if you could call that run-down shack a house, was a lovely pink Warp Pipe with a picture of Peach's face painted upon it. Right now, that's where Mario and Luigi were headed. They crashed through the underbrush towards there. 

Mario obviously felt inclined to do something "cool", so he did. He grabbed the edge of the pipe, flipped himself into the air, did three flips, one spin, and went in feet-first.

Luigi tried something more unorthodox. He kicked upwards off the side of the pipe, did one flip, and attempted to go in headfirst. Of course, he missed.

"Owww." Luigi rubbed his head. What was it about today and face plants? _"No wonder everyone thinks Mario's better than me."_ His thoughts were again interrupted, this time by Mario's head sticking out of the Warp Pipe. "Luigi, you coming?" "Alright, alright." He, with some effort, pulled his face out of the ground and hopped in…on Mario's head. He was not pleased. "Luigi, we're getting you glasses."

The Mushroom Kingdom Castle, also nicknamed Princess Peach's Castle, towered above the horizon. Its dazzling pink amidst the sharp blue of the sky made for a breathtaking sight. It was only about ¼ of a mile away from a red Warp Pipe with Mario's picture upon it, which the Mario brothers were leaping from.

Upon reaching the castle gate, two yellow Toads with long spears blocked them. "What business do you have here?" one shouted. "Only people that the Princess has told us to expect are authorized. Now git!" Mario raised an eyebrow and shot his brother a look that just screamed "_these guys are new". _

Mario cleared his throat and addressed the guards. "Mario and Luigi, requesting permission to enter." The Toads looked positively terrified. "Y-you mean the Super Mario Brothers? Uhh…AAH! DON'T KILL ME!" The first guard screamed and ran off, dropping his spear.

"Um, terribly sorry, we're …um …new …and …" The guard lost his nerve. "HIYA! Take this!" He swung his spear, rather pathetically, at Luigi, who grabbed it and snapped it like a toothpick. The guard ran off yelling bloody murder, just like the first one. "Knew it," Mario taunted. "I dunno, he seemed pretty skeptical." The two pushed open the gate and entered the castle.

Even compared to the fanciness of Mario's home, Peach's castle stood out over anything else in the kingdom. The fancy pink wallpaper, the red carpets, the portraits all over the walls, they all made a picture-perfect scene.

The throne room was, if possible, more beautiful than the rest of the entire castle together. The pure diamond chandelier, the brilliant silver roses along the walls, and the huge, fancy throne, as was unseen anywhere else in the Mushroom Kingdom, were all state-of-the-art and probably would cost billions of coins to buy.

Peach, the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, sat in the huge throne, awaiting the visit she knew would come. That is to say; the parasol-toting, bomb-inside-her-dress, using-Toad-as-a-shield princess. Yes, when it came to fighting, she was quite insane.

"Hey, boys. Did you get the invitation?" she asked sweetly, with a voice like honey. Mario nodded. "We're going. Are you?" The princess giggled childishly. "Of course, silly. When would I miss a chance to actually fight?" Mario laughed a little too heartily for such a statement, as Luigi noticed.

Before he could utter a sarcastic remark, a Toad dressed in blue ran in. Mario and Luigi recognized this Toad as the Royal Mushroom Retainer, who had accompanied them on their adventure in Subcon. "Hey, don't forget me!" Peach giggled again. "Yeah, Toad's invited, too!" "Toad?" Luigi said incredulously. "Yeah," the little mushroom creature squeaked. Luigi paused for a moment, then seemed to accept the idea.

"So," Peach proposed, "here's an idea. Why don't we go out for a free round of golf, my treat!" "Sure," Luigi agreed. "Let's-a go!" Mario joked, using the catch phrase that they made his popular action figure say, and they all laughed.

* * *

The golf course was large and green, like any golf course. "Hole 1!" the announcer Toad shouted from the bleachers. Mario got a hole in one, big surprise. Luigi stepped up and slipped. He swung too hard and hit Peach, who was next to him, with the club. The ball hit Mario, over by the hole, in the face. He sighed. "Luigi, seriously. You need glasses." 

After several holes, a golf cart drove up, driven by a Toad. "Princess Peach," he started, in a strangely mechanical voice, "how about a drink? I will drive you there."

"Ooh, that sounds lovely," she said, with the air of an old lady greeting enthusiastic salesmen. "Let's go." She stepped toward the golf cart, waiting for the Toad to help her in. She was not disappointed.

As Mario tried to make his way in, the Toad hastily stopped him. "Uh, that won't be necessary," he said tonelessly. "We're just going for a drink." He abruptly sped off.

After only several seconds, their worst nightmare was fulfilled. Metal bars shot from the passenger seat, locking Peach in. The Toad began laughing metallically. "Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha h…SYSTEM OVERLOAD," another robotic voice spoke, although more feminine. The skin exploded from the Toad's face. Peach screamed and tried to cover her eyes, as the metal pieces of a robot emerged from beneath.

"What? Cursed contraption!" a loud, growling voice shouted exasperatedly. Mario gasped. "Bowser?" he shouted from about 100 yards away from the stopped cart. "HA! Nothing can save your precious Peach now!" A giant blimp with Bowser's picture on it descended from a cloud. The familiar leering Koopa King stood in the basket.

"What are you talking about?" Luigi scoffed. "You're way up there, and she's down here!"

"What am I talking about?" Bowser said in a softly dangerous tone. "This." A giant horseshoe magnet on a robot arm flew out of the blimp and pointed at the golf cart, pulling Peach into the sky. "HA! What now, Stupor Mario Brothers?" True enough, Mario and Luigi were paralyzed with shock, mouths agape. Mario recovered first. "Luigi!" he cried, shaking his brother by the shoulders. "We have to stop Bowser?"

"How?" the younger brother inquired. Mario merely grinned. "Follow my lead." He dropped a ball onto the ground and swung at it. It hit the arm of the magnet with such force, the arm cracked. "Your turn."

Luigi, with almost godly precision, hit a ball right at the crack Mario made. The force was enough to sever the arm, dropping the magnet to the ground. It narrowly missed Peach. Mario hit another one, this time directly at the blimp. SCORE! It punctured the blimp, dropping the deflated mass to the ground, Bowser in it.

Mario ran up to Peach, and with a quick karate chop, cut her bounds. He took a step towards Bowser – and was stopped by a fragile arm. Peach's. "Let me," she ordered kindly. She walked up to Bowser and pointed her razor-sharp parasol at him. Still with the smile, she threatened "Don't get up. You're coming to prison."

She should've known better. With a satisfied smirk, Bowser struck her in the head, grabbed her by the hair, pressed a button on a remote that came from nowhere, apparently, and ran off. Within seconds, his famous Koopa Clown Car flew down, waiting for him. He hopped in with the now-conscious princess, struggling to no avail, and flew off. Mario and Luigi were hot on his tail, but unable to reach him.

"Mario!" Luigi cried desperately. "How do we stop him?" In response, Mario raised his golf club, in mid-sprint, of course. Luigi gave him a confused expression. "The balls are too small to either harm Bowser or damage the car!" he yelled accusingly. Well, maybe a little too accusingly. But he was desperate. Mario grinned. "Who said anything about balls?" So saying, he threw the golf _club_.

It hit Bowser right in the soft nose. With a great shuddering gasp, he slumped over. "Peach! Jump!" Mario called. She brandished her parasol and leaped. On her way down, she stuck a bomb up her dress and lunged at the Clown Car. Miraculously, it didn't harm her. It blew apart the outer covering of the car, though, revealing the engine.

Luigi took advantage of the situation, throwing his club at the engine. It exploded, sending the patented Koopa Clown Car spiraling out of control.

Bowser awoke to a spinning, flying sensation. He looked down, only then realizing the magnitude of his failure. "Curse you, Mario!" were the last words he could utter before they disappeared completely.

Mario took a very deep breath. "So, you wanna get a real drink?" he said after several long moments.

* * *

Bowser, miraculously, spiraled all the way to his castle, and, even more miraculously, crashed right above the throne room. He fell right onto his seat. He snarled and cursed in Koopeese. _"Liganto! Shvikea! Mekil!"_ A Koopa Paratroopa shuddered upon hearing those words, entering the room. "Uh, Lord Koopa, a message." 

"Gimme that!" He nearly knocked over the poor Paratroopa grabbing it. "Now, leave!" he barked. The mail carrier did not need to be told twice. He got out of there as fast as his wings would take him.

"What I need is better grounds," he muttered to himself. "I need a better situation, almost like a scheduled battle. Maybe another tennis tourney…" Without another word, he tore the envelope apart. A familiar metal piece fell out. He did a double-take. "Who dares?" he muttered angrily. He picked up the device and was about to crush it when Master Hand appeared. He dropped it in terror.

"M-Master Hand! What a surprise!" he said with fake pleasantness. The powerful Hand had never quite forgiven him for the incident in the previous tournament. It was soon clear, though, that either this Master Hand was not real, or he was very ignorant.

"_Greetings, Bowser Koopa. As participants of the previous Super Smash Brothers tournaments, I would like to cordially invite you to the 3rd annual Super Smash Brothers tournament, hosted by me, Master Hand. Transportation will be arranged in 5 days, accompanied by another note specifying where to go. Note that the tournament itself will only start after 10 days in the mansion, so pack accordingly. Also note that a 5th special move must be created for all the Smashers. Food will be arranged. Hope to see you then._

Bowser, I really should not be inviting you, but given your popularity rating for the last tournament, I have decided to make an exception. You are given a second chance; do not blow it! Also, inform your son Bowser Jr., King Boo, who should be living there, and your own Koopa, that they are invited as well. Tell them of the conditions. 

The hologram faded out. Bowser took a deep breath, as though to reassure himself that Master Hand was really not there. After quite some time, he called out "King Boo! Come out here!"

The large Boo shifted into focus. "What is it, Bowser?" he hissed. "I was taking a nap. The bathrobe and cigar only added to the effect. Bowser shouted in exasperation "What is your problem, King? I invited you to come to the castle to be my business partner, not to slack off while I work! I'm sure you didn't slack off like this at that mansion!" The king stuck his tongue out.

"Well, how could I with that brat Luigi sticking his Hoover everywhere? Oh and, what work were you doing? Working the slave Toads again?" Bowser growled. "No, I was kidnapping the princess!" Boo grinned. "Apparently you failed."

Bowser's eye twitched. "Get Jr. for me!" he snapped. Obediently, Boo disappeared, and reappeared with Bowser Jr., the paintbrush-toting child of Bowser's. He was no more pleasant than his dear father. "Dad, why am I here?" "Later. Where's Koopa?"

Although there were many Koopa Troopas in the castle of Bowser, only one was deserving of the title "Koopa". This Koopa Troopa was special. He was found in the wild, and Bowser trained him himself. As a result, he was incredibly skilled.

"I'll get him," Boo whispered, and, once again, shimmered out of focus. This time he came back with a Koopa Troopa with a spiky blue shell, sunglasses, and a spiked collar. "Well, Bowser, what's up?" he said coolly. He was probably the only living Koopa Troopa with enough guts to call Bowser by his first name.

"Well," he began, "you do remember the tournament I went to last year, don't you?"

* * *

Well, glad that's done with. Now, time for some Q & A. 

-The Core: Once upon a time, all the worlds of Nintendo were one. But in a terrible war, many parts, including Hyrule and the Mushroom Kingdom, were blown outward into their own realms. But the one true origin of the worlds was in the center of it all, called the Core. The Core consists of one planet, ruled by Master Hand.

-Smash System: The Smash System is the system that prevents blood/gore, fuels Smash Attacks, and works the damage and trophy platforms.

-Super Smash Foundation: The organization that runs the SSB tournaments.

Well, g'bye!


	3. The Invitations Pt 2

Yes, finally, Chapter 2 is here! Yes, I am right, as the first chapter was a prologue, not a chapter. With that said, here's Bob with the reviews!

Bob: Thanks, poji! Now, here's our one review!

poji73: What the crap! One...frickin...review! Jeez, what's wrong with you people! Seriously, we need more reviews.

Bob: Anyway, ignore the crazy author. Here's our faithful reviewer, tikitikirevenge!

tikitikirevenge: Sorry, I'm just a tad late.

Bob: Yeah, like two months!

poji73: Shut up! Anyway, glad you liked Chapter 1.

Bob: I didn't!

poji73: Shut...up...

Bob: Seriously, it suc-

(gets hit in the head with a brick)

poji73: Hope that'll shut you up. Anyway, to all my faithful reviewers...

Bob: Reviewer.

poji73: Aren't you dead?

Bob: No.

poji73: We'll fix that shortly. Anyway, have a great read!

* * *

Vine to vine to vine to branch, he swung. His massive hands snatched up the gold prizes in his path as he made his way to a precariously perched…treehouse. Yes, that was lame. But back to the story!

The gigantic hands and…um…_big_ arms that only an unusually large ape could possess were able to easily swing, jump and cross branches and vines that would have left ordinary humans in the River Kremling, a gathering spot/lounge for the evil K. Rool's Kremling Crew. Trust me; you do not want to fall into that river.

But K. Rool isn't appearing till later in the chapter, so back to the Kong of the jungle! Ha ha ha! Get it? Kong! Instead of…king…I'll be quiet now.

The powerful arms possessed by the resident ape, Donkey Kong, pulled an equally massive body back to his treehouse. He started opening the door cautiously, remembering what had happened last time he went on "vacation".

_

* * *

_

_(FLASHBACK)_

"Hey, DK! Hey, DK! Hey, DK! You owe me, dude, again, dude! Ha! Hey DK! It rhymes!" DK sighed, looking down at his small, hyperactive friend with concern.

"Diddy?" he started timidly. "H-how much caffeine did you put in your banana juice this morning?" Diddy Kong just grinned an impossibly wide grin, stretching from ear to ear. DK groaned loudly. Just that was enough of an answer. But Diddy wasn't about to take a hint.

"Ten whole banana-peelfuls, DK dude!" The larger monkey gasped. "Diddy? That's not good for your respiratory system!" "Who cares?" It was silent for a few moments. Diddy broke the almost-peaceful silence with bad news. "Hey, funk-o-man DK! I got a surprise for ya at home, bro!"

"Diddy, I'm not your 'bro', alright?" "Sure, whatever ya say, bro!" You could almost see steam coming out of DK's ears. "Stop it!" "OK, DK." The large ape sighed an almost impossibly large sigh. "Bro," Diddy added quickly. DK rose a large fist and brought it down, cracking the small skull of the poor…bird. Yes, DK killed a bird. An ordinary blackbird, to be exact. "Whoa, bro, bro, bro, you was outta whack, doggy dog!"

DK almost punched something else, but decided to let it go. "Yo, bro, we're at the treehouse, birdy-bird!" "Birdy-bird?" DK asked in puzzlement. "Yeah, cause, ya know, doggy-dog, and ya killed a bird, so…yeah! It's koolio, meister-bro!" DK almost wept.

He scurried up the ladder and started kissing his treehouse. "Oh, it's been so long! That cursed K. Rool tried to separate me from my own creation, but he failed. I'm here, again!" Diddy was close behind him. "Yo, dog, that's whack out, making out with your treehouse…out! Yeah, it rhymed!" DK was compelled to slap the overeager monkey off the treehouse, but resisted. "Yes, Diddy, now let's go." He opened the door to reveal…

A treehouse, handmade by DK, with no Diddy alterations. "Diddy, where's the surprise?" "In the closet, funky-funky-funky funk-man-dude! Bro," he added before jumping onto a chandelier hanging atop the ceiling. "This had better not be a trap!" DK slowly - ssslllooowwwlllyyy - s… s… s… l… l… l… o… o… o… w… w… w… l… l… l… y… y… y… opened the door to reveal…

Bananas, bananas, bananas and…a banana avalanche! Before DK had the opportunity to react, he was swept away by a banana tidal wave, engulfing his portraits, furniture, everything except Diddy. "Yo, cool, my main man, dude, dog – foo – gangsta ya." You can guess who said that. "Oh, and I forgot something," Diddy added. "What!" "Bro," Diddy said with great satisfaction. This time DK _really_ wept.

* * *

_(END FLASHBACK)_

By the time the flashback was finished, Donkey Kong had almost finished opening the door. Almost there, he's getting closer…hey, look, a bumblebee! Oh, no, DK crushed it!

Back to waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting…hey, look, a – sorry, DK crushed it.

More waiting? Alright, fine. Who writes this crap anyway? Wait for it…a cute, pretty blackbird! Oops. DK…well, you can guess.

Hey, look! He touched the doorknob! Hooray! He turned it, to reveal…

Diddy Kong, up to his old tricks (if you read the flashback, I won't have to clarify, although I will anyway). He was currently standing on a large piece of wood, conveniently jutting from the wall. By him was a lever in the "up" position. "Diddy! What are you doing?" DK yelled.

"Well, ya know," he grinned. "Fixing up yer' run-down crap-shack of a crap-house, CRAP!" He laughed like a maniac.

DK covered his ears with such force, he nearly crushed his skull. "Diddy! You're ruining my house! Get down!" "…Uh-oh," Diddy responded slowly.

"What!" He looked up. Apparently the lever was now in the "down" position. Before DK could question his rescuer/house "redecorator", the ceiling fell down. DK tried to get up and strangle Diddy, but his body was currently under a very heavy piece of ceiling.

"Sorry, DK meister, bro!" Diddy yelled. "SORRY?" DK bellowed back. "You waltz right into my house and crush me with my own ceiling, and you have the nerve to say sorry?" "Uh, yeah."

"_Ding_ _dong_." "Hey, like, Diddy, like, can I, like, come in?" Diddy gasped. "It's Dixie!" (Bet ya didn't see that coming.) "I forgot about our date!"

DK wasn't amused. "So, you're going to invite your girlfriend into my destroyed house?" "Nope."

"Then what…" DK was abruptly cut off when Diddy jumped to the chandelier and pulled on it. The ceiling around it fell in one piece onto the floor, with beanbags, a radio and many gold records. DK had a great view of it from a hole in the floor he was crushed beneath.

"Diddy!" he cried in a muffled tone. Diddy took no notice of him; too busy putting on his spray-on cologne. "Come in, my sweet darling," he said finally, with real class and distinction. She did. DK coughed loudly.

"Uh, like, Diddy, yer floor is coughing." "Uh…no, it isn't!"

"But, like, yeah it is." "It must be one of those coughing mice again. Here, sit down." He gestured to one of the two beanbags. "Like, beanbags? That was, like, a good choice!" Diddy grinned. "What can I say? I'm a pro!" DK growled. The beanbags were his idea.

Diddy pulled out a remote control. One button and slow music came on. Another button and the shades came down. Another and the lights came off. You know what happens next.

They leaned in, closer…closer…closer…Disgusted, DK spat – right out the convenient hole in the ground. He got Dixie right in the foot.

"Like, EWW!" Dixie somersaulted backward. "What's wrong, banana-pie?" Diddy used a very redundant compliment.

"Like, your floor, like, spit on me, like!" Diddy looked shocked. "Why don't you go outside, and I'll talk to Don – the floor." "Sure!" She went outside. Diddy stood, spun on his heel, and glared at the hole in the floor.

"Dude! What ya problem! You come into _my_ treehouse and mess up _my_ date! That's whack! Now _get out_!"

That was the last straw. DK lost it. "Look, you…damn…ape!" Diddy laughed. But the first member of the DK crew wasn't done. (A/N: That was a line from the popular DK Rap.) "First of all, this is my house! Second, you destroy it, and then try to hide me! Get your own treehouse!"

Diddy was unfazed. He grinned. "Look, DK bro, it may be your treehouse, but I got the power here! I can shut ya up if I want!"

"And just how do you intend to do that?" Diddy's only response was to take a piece of glass from his pocket and place it over the hole.

"How's that supposed to help you! I'm still talking!" Some time passed. "Uh, Diddy? DIDDY?" But of course, he could not be heard.

"Oh, Dixie, come in!" Diddy, of course. The door flew open and Dixie entered gracefully. "Sit down, my dear." DK screamed in frustration, knowing full well he couldn't be heard. If only Dixie knew the true Diddy!

"So, my fair ban-angel." He used a term he obviously thought clever. DK thought otherwise. "Where did we leave off?" They leaned closer…closer…closer…DK groaned. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

**The next morning**

DK, standing on the front porch of his treehouse, stretched out every muscle of his body that he knew. About 700, actually, considering this ape's size. What a relief it was to not be under a ceiling!

While stretching, he spotted a Raven flying towards him. His muscles tensed and he stepped backward into a battle stance.

"Stop! Do you work for Raphael Raven?" DK asked commandingly, referring to one of his minor enemies.

"Nope. Quit a while ago. Part of the Raven Union." "Ah," DK said as if it explained everything.

"Anyway, dude, got a letter for ya." If was bright red and gold with the insignia "M" on it. DK ignored this, as well as the address on the back, and tore open the envelope.

Upon contact with the ground, the small metal piece lit up and Master Hand appeared. Before DK had a chance to ask questions, it began speaking.

"_Greetings, Donkey Kong. As a participant of the previous Super Smash Brothers tournaments, I would like to cordially invite you to the 3rd annual Super Smash Brothers tournament, hosted by me, Master Hand. Transportation will be arranged in 5 days, accompanied by another note specifying where to go. Note that the tournament itself will only start after 10 days in the mansion, so pack accordingly. Also note that a 5th special move must be created for all the Smashers. Food will be arranged. Hope to see you then._

DK jumped for joy and wept from happiness. That was _exactly_ what he needed, a year away from that pest Diddy. He was so ecstatic that he almost missed the second part of the message.

_Also, inform your friend Diddy Kong that he is invited as well. Tell him of the conditions."_

The screen went blank. DK stopped in his tracks, horror written all over his face. This was the exact opposite of what he needed!

Diddy peeked his head out through the window. "Yo, bro, I heard the whole thing! We be goin' to the Smash-o tournament…together, bro!" DK took a deep breath and expelled one word, so loud that the trees shook and the animals scattered. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

A maniacal laugh was heard from the shadows deep in a cave. "Yes," a deep voice growled. "I will go to the tournament, and I will win! I will kill Donkey Kong and his pesky sidekick! They will regret they ever heard the name King K. Rool! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

A boat traveled the seas. Quickly she went. Powerful waves frothed up beneath her. Seagulls both scattered and followed. The faint sound of snoring could be heard. It was small, much like a ferryboat. But that wasn't the strangest part of this vessel. The strangest part was…that it was flat. Yes, flat. Like paper (hint, hint).

It traveled past the Keelhaul Key (a pirate island). It received waves from several Bob-Omb sailors.

It zoomed by Poshley Heights, gaining quick salutes from the wealthy and famous ones with the luck to live there.

It moved underneath the floating Glitz Pit, too low to be seen. Still, the driver thought he could hear the faint call "RAAWWWKKK!" from atop the city.

It motored though the river of Petalburg. Several of the friendly residents of the peaceful town gave their greetings.

It went past the lake of the Boggly Woods. The groups of Punies there jumped, squeaking their hellos.

Finally, the boat docked in its destination: Rogueport! The boat driver, who happened to be a sailor Bob-Omb, got up and looked at his only passenger. He groaned. "Mr. Mario!" he shouted.

"Huh, what?" Mario sat up, dazed and a bit confused. The driver sweatdropped. "We're here, Mr. Mario," he said exasperatingly. He had dealt with the plumber before, and began to get profoundly tired. But he could hardly complain; after all, Mario saved the world! Besides, he paid well.

"Yes, I'm going. Oh, and Jack, thanks." Jack groaned again and started the engine. Mario quickly added "Here's something for all your troubles." Something glinted in his hand. The motor stopped in a heartbeat. "What is it?" the Bob-Omb now identified as Jack asked eagerly. Mario raised an eyebrow, then after a moment flipped a coin into the driver's hand. Without so much as a thank-you, Jack was off.

"So rude," Mario muttered as he walked up the stairs and into the main section of Rogueport. No sign of Goombella or any other party member. "Hmm." Mario checked the envelope again. "It says 'the west part of town'. Well, that makes sense; it's the only decent part of town."

He walked over to the arch marking the path between central and east Rogueport, only to find it blocked by a haughty female Toad. Mario sighed. This Toad had given him a bad time on his earlier adventure here. "Zess T.," he began, "let me pass."

"No way!" she said firmly. "Not until I get my eyedrops!" Mario stared at her incredulously. "But I got you your eyedrops two months ago!" "Yeah! Well, I lost them again, so get me new ones!" The plumber groaned. Without eyedrops, she'd never move. "Alright. Look, I'll just go into the store and buy you…" He was abruptly cut off. "Sorry, pal, they're out. I already checked.

"WHAT? Then how do you expect me to get you eyedrops?" "That's your problem," Zess T. pointed out. Mario clenched his teeth in frustration. Suddenly, a light bulb lit up! In other words, Mario thought of an idea. He tightly wound himself up and sprang right over the arch – and poor old Zess T. "Hello?" she asked to nobody. "Gimme my eyedrops!"

* * *

Mario walked slowly into the area. It was devoid of all life-forms. "Uh…hello?" "SURPRISE!" The cry was deafening. All of Mario's party members and former friends leaped out at him. "Hey, Mario! Didja miss us!" Goombella cried happily. All of his friends nodded in agreement. Mario grinned. "Of course I missed you guys!"

* * *

Everyone was partying! The detective and residents of Poshley Heights, the sailors from the Keelhaul Key, the fighters of the Glitz Pit, the Punies of The Boggly Woods, the peaceful citizens of Petalburg (who knows how they all beat Mario here), the rugged rogues of Rogueport, and even some X-Nauts were seen jumping, dancing and laughing, and overall having a good time. Mario's closest friends, the party members, were having a special time of their own!

Goombella, a hard-working college student who was the exact opposite of "laid-back", was currently flipping through and furiously reading a book titled "Hip and Gangsta' Talk".

Baby Yoshi was blowing various party, um, things. You know, the ones with paper folded, and when you blow into it, it makes a loud noise? Yeah, those.

Anyway, Flurrie and Bobbery, the Wind Spirit and the Sailor Bob-Omb, were dancing like crazy! Hopping, spinning, just about everything "hip" and "gangsta'" (A/N: Sorry, couldn't resist).

Ms. Mowz, the thief/shop owner was the center of much attention. Being the owner of a world-famous badge shop, she knew a lot about fashion and style, which she decided to showcase at the big bonanza. Needless to say, the partiers were hooked.

Vivian, the Shadow Siren, being her usual timid self, hid underground, coming out only to greet people occasionally and eat food.

Mario, of course, was having a great time. His good mood only increased as he heard the loud cry from a random partier. "Bring out the cake!" Everyone shouted their agreement.

The cake was enormous! In fact, it was so tall that even Mario couldn't spring-jump onto the top! "Well, guys!" Mario roared over all the ruckus. "Let's dig in!"

* * *

Several hours later, the gigantic cake was almost finished. Most everybody was laying on the floor, stomachs full to the point of pain. Only Mario was still gobbling it down. "Does he ever stop eating?" a random person in the audience inquired. He was treated to a large group of "Yeah"s and "Definitely"s, and several other synonyms. One loud cry pierced all else, originating from a Paratroopa standing on a roof.

"Hey, Mario! Long time, no see!" Mario finally lifted his face from the cake and looked up. "Hey, Parakarry! How are you doing?" The Paratroopa shrugged. "Same old, same old. By the way, here's a letter for you."

Parakarry dropped a fancy envelope. Mario carefully opened it, making sure not to rip the paper. He carefully pulled out the metal chip. Without warning, Master Hand appeared. "YAAAH!" Mario dropped the chip out of nervousness.

"_Greetings, Paper Mario and Party, new Smashers. I would like to cordially invite you to the 3rd annual Super Smash Brothers tournament, hosted by me, Master Hand. Transportation will be arranged in 5 days, accompanied by another note specifying where to go. Note that the tournament itself will only start after 10 days in the mansion, so pack accordingly. Also note that 5 special moves must be created for all the Smashers. Food will be arranged. Hope to see you then._

_NOTE: Although this case is unusual, it has been done before. Due to Paper Mario's overwhelming success with his party members, we have decided they will fight with him as one entry._

It was quiet for a moment, and then total pandemonium broke out. Everyone started whooping, Paper Mario's party most of all. Of course, they stood up first. "We're going to the tournament! We're going to the tournament! Hooray!"

Mario, ever Mr. Skeptical, presented his title with great gusto. "Paper? And what do they mean "Super Smash Brothers"? That sounds way too corny to be real!" But Mario couldn't keep his skepticism when faced with his friends, and soon began cheering with them, hoping it was true. "HOORAY!"

* * *

Out of all the residents of Treasure Sea, there were only a few people not celebrating; the X-Nauts! (insert dramatic chord here). Well, technically, they were on the moon, but who cares!

"Well, Crump, what do you make of this, hmm?" a severed head lying on the chair said.

"Well, Lord Grodus, I say it's an excellent idea! Even better that they let us pick our fighter!"

"Yes," the head now identified as Grodus spoke. "Finally, the riches we will gain in this tournament will make that whole "Crystal Star" escapade meaningless! The X-Nauts will rise again!" There was a short pause. "You go," Grodus added.

"What? Um, no, sir, I cannot go! You are the most skilled of all X-Nauts; you should go, lord!"

Grodus snorted. "Crump, I'd love to go, but as you can see…" He glanced at his body, or lack thereof. "…I'm not in a proper condition, you see. This is a direct order: Crump, fight in the Super Smashing Siblings tournament!"

"Y-yes, sir! I won't let the X-Nauts down!"

"See that you don't. Now, go prepare!"

* * *

Well, didja like it! I think it was my best work yet!

Jim: Well, I don't.

poji73: That's the new guy, Jim. Bob met with an...unfortunate accident.

Jim: Accident? You ripped his left lung out and shoved it up his-

poji73: Before this story gets an "M" rating, my good friend Jim has some words to share with you.

Jim: Dude, don't get confused. Diddy in this story is based off the crazy writer.

poji73: Shut up!

Jim: Thanks. Anyway, some of you may be wondering what the Treasure Sea is. The fact is; it doesn't exist! This damned author had the nerve to make up some corny title and pass it off as a legit name.

poji73: Shut...up...

Jim: Dude, this guy is damned insane!

(smiles wickedly)

Jim: Get ready for some action between Link and Zelda in Chapter 3!

poji73 (shocked face): What do you take me for, a porn writer?

Jim: Yes. Do you know how many jokes Bob had to edit out to keep this story rated T?

poji73: Don't listen to this guy. He's nuts.

Jim: What are you talking about? You're-

(gets dirty diaper thrown at him)

Jim: Air...need air...

poji73: Well, review and stay tuned for chapter 3. Oh, and expect a new assistant.

Jim: I...hate you...

poji73: Well, see ya!


End file.
